Couples counseling can be the key to repairing or improving your relationship. You have probably heard that the divorce rate is around 50% in the United States, but how many of those people considered couples counseling before divorce?
Couples counseling has the potential to take a couple from the brink of divorce to a healthy, happy partnership. However, your relationship doesn’t have to be in dire straights to benefit from couples counseling.
Join me, Jason T. Link, a leading Licensed Professional Counselor in Indiana, PA with more than two decades of experience, as we talk more about couples counseling. Below we will dive into what couples counseling is, its benefits, who should consider it, and what to expect.
What is Couples Counseling?
Couples counseling is a form of psychotherapy or counseling that aims to improve the relationship between two romantic/intimate partners. Despite what many might think, couples counseling is not just for married couples.
It can be between two people who are dating, have a child together, are engaged to be married, and more. No matter the dynamic, sexual orientation, age, or status between you and your partner, couples counseling can be helpful.
Benefits of Couples Counseling
Going to couples counseling has multiple benefits in resolving relationship woes that you won’t get with talking to a friend or battling it out at home.
Mediation
Do things get heated when you discuss a conflict with your partner? Your couples counselor or therapist can act as a mediator to bring everyone back on track when things start to go off the rails. Think of them as a referee to keep the fighting fair.
Third-Party Perspective
Oftentimes we talk to our friends or family when we are having troubles in our relationships to get an outside perspective. Unfortunately, this means that you get subjected to their personal opinions. Additionally, loved ones can begin to resent your partner for their indiscretions causing tension in your friend or family group.
With a professional couples counselor, you can get a third-party perspective without personal opinion or judgment as that is exactly what they are trained to do.
Get to the Root and Find Solutions
You may notice that every time you and your partner fight, it is over the same topics or that you never seem to land on a resolution. A couples counselor can help you and your partner get to the root of the problem and then work on a solution so that it doesn’t feel like you are just going around in circles. Getting to the root of things and coming up with solutions helps both parties move forward!
Confidential
Remember how we said that friends and family can sometimes become resentful when sharing your relationship woes? Well, with a couples counselor, you don’t have to worry about that.
Everything you or your partner shares with your counselor is completely confidential. No one else will know your business and therefore no one else outside of your relationship will have any opinions, judgments, or feelings about the situation.
It also means there’s no chance of a personal detail being shared with others without your permission. After all, we all know how fast rumors spread!
Do I Need To Go To Couples Counseling?
This is the big question any time couples counseling is brought up– Do I need to go to couples counseling? Maybe your partner has suggested it and you are unsure or you heard about it, but aren’t sure whether it would be beneficial for you and your partner specifically.
Well, let’s break down some examples of who couples counseling is helpful for:
- Couples who are fighting more often than not
- Couples who have explosive, aggressive arguments
- Couples who are considering breaking up, separation, or divorce
- Couples who are having a hard time with intimacy
- Couples who feel they are stagnant or “just going through the motions”
- Couples who have a situation they have not been able to reach an agreement on
- Couples who want to improve their relationship despite there being no specific disagreements
What to Expect at Couples Counseling
One of the barriers to why couples do not seek counseling together more often is because they are unsure of what to expect. It can be anxiety-inducing to jump into the unexpected. Though every couples counselor may have a slightly different approach, there are a few things that are pretty standard.
Scheduling
To schedule couples counseling, you’ll likely have to either call the office you’ve chosen. However, some counselors have online scheduling available.
Either way, they will ask for your and your partner’s information like your name, address, and phone number. Then, they will give you the available appointment options. You may also need to fill out new patient paperwork describing what you will be seen for, the policies of the office, your rights as a patient, and possibly a “getting to know you” questionnaire.
Keep in mind that health insurance plans frequently do not cover couples counseling, though most couples counselors offer flexible payment plans and reduce rates for cash-pay patients.
The First Appointment
At the first appointment, you and your partner should arrive 5-10 minutes early to get checked in. The receptionist will take a copy of your ID to verify your information, collect any necessary paperwork, and let the counselor know that you both are ready.
The counselor will then come to the waiting room to lead you both to their private session room. In the private area, there will probably be a few seating options. You should feel free to choose the most comfortable (as long as it’s not the counselor’s seat!). This is when your session begins and the counselor will get the conversation started.
In the first session or two, there will likely be a series of questions for you and your partner to answer as the counselor gets to know you both and the overview of your relationship and its struggles.
Keep in mind that 99% of the time, there will not be anything resolved in the first session, so ensure you stick with it for a few (probably more like 5-10) sessions at least before considering throwing in the towel. Like it took time for the relationship to hit a few bumps, it will take time to repair it!
Continuing On
As you and your partner continue to attend and participate in couples counseling, your counselor will begin to suggest activities that either help get to the bottom of the problem(s) or relate to addressing them.
They may assign “homework” or tasks to work on at home as well. Your counselor may also want to have an individual session with each partner depending on the situation. All of these things are normal and are part of the process.
The important thing is that both parties keep an open mind, actively engage, and give their best effort!
When you and your partner make progress and are implementing the knowledge and changes you have come up with, the couples counselor might advise less frequent sessions or to see them only as needed. It is not uncommon for your relationship to be smooth sailing for a while and then hit a rocky patch, so you and your partner can always return to counseling to continue improving!
Finding Couples Counseling Near You
Ready to get started with couples counseling? Though you can simply Google, “couples counseling near me”, I, Jason Link, LPC, am ready to help you and your partner develop the tools to succeed!
Though my physical office is located in Indiana, Pennsylvania, I offer virtual couples counseling for your convenience. Get help with your relationship woes from the comfort of your home. Virtual counseling is a great option for long-distance couples as well. Reach out today and let’s do this together!
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